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| nothing is ours... |
You know, to be frank, love is something I find ridiculous at the moment. I never knew how much it can change us and how much it can affect us daily. I never knew it could be so beautiful and yet be so painful. I never knew it would be so. To know that someone you love and adore doesn't love you like how you love them is like truly painful. Well, maybe it's my fault for not telling the person, but then again, I'd rather lose a lover than to lose a friend.
I don't know. That person is just different. No matter how much I know that I'm not meant to be for that person, I just can't help but to want to try anyway. And I know who to blame whenever I go cry because of disappointment and heartbreak again and again -- me. Why do I still chase over that person? Who knows. Because I still feel like there's hope. There's a chance for us to be together.
But then, recently, I began to realize. All my efforts are just in vain. That person will never be mine, and I'm just wasting my time trying to win that person. I completely forgot that all this happens because of Allah's will. He gave me this, and I'm like denying the fact and reality of this. Now I know just how weak and naive and stupid and immature I am for doing something that will only bring harm to my own heart.
It would be a lie to say that this is my first time falling in love. Falling in love is normal. And I've had many heart breaks before, but somehow this time it's different. The person now is just magnificent! But, I guess it's my fault that I'm not that person's choice. I'm just going to be a friend, and I know why. It's because of my own attitude and mentality. I should grow up, but somehow, no matter how much I want to, I'm just nothing but a mere child. A kid who had never understood the true meaning of life.
Right now, all I could ever think of is trying to focus studying, focus on my assignments, presentations and also, focus on Herbalife. I need my enthusiasm back in all these things so that I can forget entirely of the person and get back on track in my life. It's hard. Very hard. But, someone once told me, patience is the key. The product of your patience will be truly mesmerizing, just you see!
I'm holding on to that. I'm holding on to that, always.
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Dear me,
please move on. If you truly love the person, then let that person go. If that person comes back, then hold on tight. But sometimes even if the person comes back, that doesn't mean that person is all yours now. Love is not about possession, but it's about the power of giving. Give your love, and you will get loved back. Believe.
if something is meant for you, you wont be able to push it away no matter how hard you try. if it is not, you wont be able to have it no matter how far you reach out.
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